143 Money Questions for Every Couple

by Wealthy Living

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We know money can be a tough topic for many couples. In fact, money is constantly cited as a reason for fights and even a top reason for divorce.

Because having these conversations can be difficult, we wanted to give you a good place to start! This list of 143 Money Questions for Every Couple is divided by life stage. But feel free to talk about any question that applies to your life right now.

These questions were crafted to help you and your loved one become unified in your pursuit of the Wealthy Life. To ensure your conversation is a good one, set yourself up for success. These simple ground rules should help:

  • You must give your significant other some warning. Don’t surprise them with these questions out of the blue!
  • Be sensitive to anything your significant other isn’t comfortable sharing. The newer the relationship, the more important this is.
  • You should be in a good mood and in a happy place!
  • Take turns asking the questions, and both of you should answer each one. This will avoid either of you feeling like you’re being interrogated.
  • You shouldn’t be hungry. Seriously, don’t even try.

Ready? Let’s do this!

25 Money Questions to Discuss when You’re Newly Dating

New love is so much fun! You talk for hours, think about them all the time, and want to spend all your time together. Money is likely the last thing on your mind, but it’s worth talking about! Not all of these look like money questions at first glance. But listen carefully, and you’ll begin to get a clearer picture of their (and your) money narrative.

  1. Tell me about where you grew up? What was your favorite/least favorite thing about where you lived?
  2. Did you get an allowance as a kid? What did you do with it?
  3. What did your family do for Christmas and Thanksgiving?
  4. Did your family have any traditions growing up? What were your least and most favorite family traditions?
  5. Are you and your family close?
  6. What is the best vacation you’ve ever been on?
  7. Do you have any vacations coming up?
  8. What would your dream vacation be?
  9. Tell me about your best friend/friend group. What do you guys do when you’re together?
  10. Who in your life would you give $100 to, no questions asked?
  11. What do you want to do for a career? What’s your dream job?
  12. What do you like to do in your free time? What hobbies do you have?
  13. If you had $10,000 / $100,000 / $1,000,000 – what would you do with it?
  14. What’s a normal weekend like for you?
  15. What do you do for fun when you’re alone? What do you do for fun with your friends?
  16. Are you a spender or a saver? Which do you think I am?
  17. What was the last big thing you bought? Was it worth it?
  18. What do your parents do for a living?
  19. Are you working towards anything now like a job, a skill, or a major purchase like a car or house?
  20. Do you enjoy going out to eat?
  21. What is your favorite cheap restaurant? What is your favorite expensive restaurant?
  22. What do you like to spend money on? What is the best thing you spent money on in the last year?
  23. Would you rather spend money on experiences or things?
  24. If we spent a day together, but couldn’t spend any money, what would we do?
  25. Are there any charities or causes that are close to your heart?

34 Questions to Discuss when You’re Seriously Dating

Things are getting a little more serious now. By now, you’ve eaten a whole tub of ice cream together and seen each other sick. It’s time for questions that probe a little deeper. Take the plunge together and see what you learn!

  1. Did your family talk about money growing up?
  2. What money lessons (intentional or accidental) do you think you learned from your parents?
  3. Do you think your parents were good with money?
  4. How did your parents handle money? Did one person do it all, or did they work together?
  5. Did you know how much your family made growing up? Was there ever money stress that you were aware of as a kid?
  6. What scares you about money?
  7. What are the name brands (groceries, clothes, technology, etc.) that are worth it to you?
  8. If you were in a tight spot, who would you borrow money from?
  9. How much would you feel comfortable borrowing from friends/family?
  10. Does gambling at a casino sound like a fun time or an irresponsible waste?
  11. What are you comfortable telling me about your money?
  12. How do you manage your money? Do you budget?
  13. Do you have a credit card?
  14. If so, how do you handle your credit card? Do you carry a balance or pay it in full at the end of the month?
  15. What is your opinion on debt?
  16. What things do you love enough to spend more money on than most people?
  17. Have any weird money habits?
  18. How important is a new car to you?
  19. If you wanted to buy something expensive, how would you pay for it?
  20. How large of a loan would you feel comfortable taking out right now?
  21. Do you usually have money left over at the end of the month?
  22. How far ahead do you like to plan when it comes to money?
  23. When you get unexpected cash, what do you do with it?
  24. Are you comfortable telling me how much money you make?
  25. Are you comfortable telling me about your debt?
  26. If so, do you have any student loans or other debt?
  27. If so, how do you feel about it?
  28. If so, how are you handling it?
  29. Have you ever declared bankruptcy? If so, what was that experience like?
  30. Do you support anyone else financially?
  31. Do you want to own a house someday? If so, what is your ideal home like? Where would you like to live?
  32. Do you want to have kids someday?
  33. How important is traveling to you? How many trips or vacations do you want to take each year?
  34. What’s the next vacation you want to take and how much do you think it’ll cost?

34 Questions to Discuss when You’re Engaged

Do you hear that? It sounds like wedding bells are on the horizon (or maybe just around the corner)! These next questions will help you plan your new life together. After this conversation, you can enter your new marriage on the same page… or at least in the same book.

  1. How much do we want to spend on a wedding?
  2. How do we plan on paying for our wedding? Will we be getting any help from family?
  3. Where do you want to go, and what do you want to do for our honeymoon?
  4. How much do you think we should spend on our honeymoon?
  5. Will we combine our money or keep it separate?
  6. If we keep it separate, why? If we combine it, why?
  7. Is there anything that makes you nervous about joining our finances?
  8. Is there a difference between “good” and “bad” debt?
  9. If you have debt, do you have a plan for it?
  10. If one of us has debt and the other doesn’t, will it be “our debt” or “your/my” debt?
  11. Do you have any money saved right now? If so, what are you saving it for?
  12. At what dollar amount should we check in with the other before spending?
  13. Who will manage the big money picture?
  14. What about the day-to-day finances?
  15. What do you think it means to be on the same team with our money?
  16. Do you want to have kids? If so, how many?
  17. If we can’t have kids, would you be open to adopting, fertility treatments, a surrogate?
  18. What type of school will we send them to? Public, Private, Home School?
  19. Will one of us be a stay at home parent, or will we both work full time?
  20. If graduated, do you think you’ll ever go back to school? What level of education do you hope to attain?
  21. Would you help a relative or friend financially if they needed it? How much would you feel comfortable giving away?
  22. How much would you give someone before you wanted to be paid back?
  23. What do you know about investing? Do you currently have any investments?
  24. What do you want our financial life to look like?
  25. Would we ever borrow money from our friends or family? How much would you feel comfortable borrowing?
  26. Would we accept large gifts of money from our families (such as a down payment on a house or medical bills)? Would there be strings attached?
  27. What do you think about prenups?
  28. How much financial risk are you comfortable with?
  29. Will we give money away to charities or causes? To what? How much?
  30. Do you ever give fundraisers on social media? How much have you given?
  31. What is the best date we’ve had so far? Why was it the best?
  32. What do you want our dating life to look like after we are married?
  33. What do you want to spend our date money on?
  34. Are there any free/low-cost things we can do when married to show each other love?

35 Questions to Discuss when You’re Young and Married

You did it! The knot is tied, and you’re married to your best friend. You’re in that strange season of life where all your friends become parents (and maybe you are too). You’re likely settling into a career, and now is a great time to ensure you and your significant other are on the same money page!

  1. What are our best/worst money habits?
  2. What do you like about the way we treat our money?
  3. What would you change about the way we treat our money?
  4. Do you feel like our budget is working, or do we need to make some changes?
  5. How much “fun money” should we each be able to spend every month?
  6. How are we doing on saving for emergencies? What emergencies should we plan for? How much do you think we should have saved up?
  7. Are there any big expenses in the next 3-5 years that we should begin saving for?
  8. Is there anything about my spending that you think we should talk about?
  9. Where are we spending money that you regret?
  10. Are there any creative solutions to curb that spending so we can use that money on things we value more?
  11. What are we spending money on that you love?
  12. Should we be spending more money on that?
  13. What would your perfect date look like? Would you ever consider saving up for a super date, or would that make you feel irresponsible?
  14. How much do we want to spend on Christmas gifts each year? What about gifts for other holidays?
  15. Are there any traditions we want to start as a family?
  16. Is there anything that scares you or makes you nervous about our money situation?
  17. Do you have any accounts or spending I don’t know about? If so, why do you feel like you need to keep them secret?
  18. How important is it to you for us to be debt-free?
  19. What do you think about our current debt payment plan?
  20. Should we change anything about our debt payment plan?
  21. What is our next major purchase? Do we need to do anything or adjust any habits to set ourselves up for success?
  22. What is the dream or goal that has you excited right now?
  23. Do you feel like we’re financially on the right path to making those dreams/goals a reality?
  24. How much do we want to commit to saving and giving each month?
  25. What are we saving for, and what are we giving to?
  26. What hobbies do you love right now? How are they impacting our finances? Is there a way to monetize your hobby?
  27. When our kids go to college, will we continue to support them?
  28. If so, in what way will we support them?
  29. If so, in what way will we not support them?
  30. Would you ever want to start a business?
  31. If so, what kind of business?
  32. If so, would you ever want to quit your job to start a business?
  33. If so, could we afford to live on just one of our incomes if/when the time comes?
  34. What would you say if someone wanted to borrow money?
  35. Do you think our next car will be new or used?

15 Questions to Discuss when You’re (Less) Young and Married

This is the broadest life stage by far, and the questions reflect that. By now, you’ve learned a lot about yourselves and hopefully each other over the years and experienced both mistakes and victories along the way. You’ve kept the love alive, and now it’s time for a check-in on your finances. Because you’ve got lots of history, this conversation might be an intimidating one. Just remember our guidelines above! It also helps to set the tone by reminding yourself that you’re on the same team!

  1. What would you say is our biggest victory as a couple?
  2. What would you say our biggest failure is?
  3. When our kids get married, will we support them financially?
  4. If so, in what ways will we support them?
  5. If so, in what ways will we not support them?
  6. Is there anything we need to be thinking about and planning for as our parents’ age?
  7. Do you think we’ll support our parents financially? If so, what does that look like?
  8. Do you think we might get an inheritance? If so, how should we factor that into our financial plan?
  9. Should we write death letters to each other just in case, so neither of us is locked out of accounts and knows what bills to pay if the other passes unexpectedly?
  10. When do we want to retire?
  11. What do we want retirement to look like?
  12. Do you plan on leaving any money behind when we die? Who or what do you want to leave it to?
  13. What kind of legacy do we want to leave behind? How does our money factor into that legacy?
  14. What do you want our money to do for us that it hasn’t yet?
  15. If we made a list of dreams to see realized before we die, what would you put on it? How can we use our money to make each one of them a reality?
Alexander Newby

Alexander Newby

Alexander is a fully licensed financial advisor. His entrepreneurial spirit and a passion for the wealthy life have freed him to live a life he loves living. Though he faced plenty of obstacles along the way, he overcame. Through his struggles, Alex learned what it truly means to pursue the Wealthy Life in all the ways that matter most. He's been in pursuit ever since.

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